A Guide for Christian Parents
I Rationale
American culture is increasingly in conflict with Christianity. Our beliefs are not only politically incorrect, they are fast becoming intolerable to secular America. The societal shift away from a biblical worldview has been devastating to the Church in America. No longer anchored in God’s Word as the source of truth and authority in the Church, many denominations and their members are adrift on whatever fads and folly secular society promotes.
Some denominations promote radical social agendas, such as the gay/lesbian/transgender lobby, that are in conflict with God’s Word. Others are strangely silent about social issues about which the Church should be speaking. Many professors of religion have set themselves over the text of Holy Scripture as if they were judges over it, rather than students under its holy wisdom.
The words of St. Paul to St. Timothy apply well to our day: 2 Tim. 4:3-4
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, [4] and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. Note that these teachers are not those sent by God to shepherd His church, but usurpers of the holy office of ministry. Essentially, they are people pleasers. Instead of God’s Word they teach their own opinions.
The recent interest in spirituality in American culture has both good and bad aspects. Many people are realizing that Atheism, implicit in public school curriculum and explicit in evolutionary theories, does not satisfy. Popular culture does not answer the most crucial questions of our existence and leaves people empty. This emptiness has been the source of renewed interest in the spiritual has potential for good. However, to date it has manifested itself primarily in two unfortunate directions: First, in the self-absorbed “Christianity my way”, so often evident in the Pentecostal or Non-denominational Community Church movements. Second, in non-Christian cults, earth/nature (“Green”) religions, and in people who treat religions like a buffet line, take a bit of this and that according to their fancies.
Given our cultural circumstances, it is critical that Christian parents do more to help instill in their children a solid base of faith. As our children come of age, they will need to be able to evaluate our culture, the claims of competing worldviews and religions, and popular yet misguided forms of Christianity. Our children will need to be able and willing to swim against the current, endure criticism and even persecution for their beliefs.
Our most important task as parents is to teach them the one holy Christian and apostolic faith so that they are able to recognize and reject that which is false. St. Paul warns: “For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.” (2 Cor. 11:14-15) In these last days, our children must be well equipped to distinguish truth from deception.
Children must be able to recognize the Divine Service of the Church as the place where the Lord comes to us to forgive, heal, and make us holy through His Word and Sacraments.
II Teaching Children How to Pray and Sing
For all parents, teaching their children how to pray will involve learning better for themselves how to pray. Prayer is not a natural ability for anyone. Often, after only a few thoughts, we don’t know what to say! True Christian prayer is not merely a pouring out of one’s thoughts and requests. It is both a confession of faith and a confession of our own sins and unworthiness before God. We confess our faith when we begin our prayers in the name of the Triune God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, making the sign of the cross upon ourselves in remembrance of our baptismal identity.
The content of our prayers must be informed by a working knowledge and active use of Holy Scripture. As the preface to the hymnal, Lutheran Worship, puts it: “Our Lord speaks, and we listen. His word bestows what it says. Faith that is born from what is heard acknowledges the gifts received with eager thankfulness and praise. . . . Saying back to him what he has said to us, we repeat what is most true and sure.” (p. 6) Thus, our prayers need to be shaped and informed by God’s word rather than the spiritual poverty of our own hearts and mind. Make God’s word the foundation for daily prayers by using a daily devotional resource or a schedule for reading a selected portion of the scriptures on a daily basis. Such tools are listed below under Devotional Resources.
A) Why children should participate in the liturgical life of the Church
Children become members of the kingdom of God in the same way that adults do, through the Sacrament of Baptism. Baptized children belong in the congregation’s worship just as adults do, which is why we don’t have a nursery during the service. Children need to be taught how to behave in the service, that is, how to worship with the congregation. Parents want their children to remain faithful members of the church their whole lives, but in many cases, they do not actively teach them how to sing the liturgy and hymns of the service. This lack of instruction has led to children who never learn to participate, even as teens who are capable of reading, these children stand in the midst of the worshipping community as if they do not belong, because they do not participate. In many cases, it won’t be long before non-participation leads to non-attendance and a loss of faith.
Christian parents desire to help their children develop a lively faith that embraces the Church as THE place where Christ is present for our benefit. There is nothing more exciting than the realization that participating in the Church’s liturgy joins us with the ongoing worship of the angels and saints in heaven in heaven. For children, church should be something more than coloring in the pew or passing the time with snacks and toys. The Divine Service is for everyone and they participate in it. Understanding the depth of the Divine Service comes gradually and takes a lifetime of study and prayer. But the participation part should come early, beginning in the toddler stage of life.
That said, in the past forty years I believe the Church has unwittingly done much to undermine our children’s ability to learn and participate in the service. For the entire history of the Church, the pattern of sound, biblical liturgical worship was passed down from generation to generation. In Luther’s day the school children served as a well-trained choir, they functioned in the service to train the adults to sing the service and hymns. Our liturgy and hymns are not bound to a single age or culture. They transcend time and cultures and confess the same faith from generation to generation. But then came the 1960’s and ‘70’s. Some in the church decided that we had to change things for the children in an attempt to be more “relevant” and entertaining. Those who pushed for these changes meant well. The result is that we lost a large percentage of the children that were raised in our Church. We never taught them how to participate in our worship, nor even why we Lutherans worship in the way that the Church always has worshipped. When they reached an age that church was no longer “fun”, many stopped attending, and in so doing, they cut themselves off from God’s gracious presence of blessing in the Divine Service.
Sadly, some of these same children later joined other denominations because they were unable to distinguish the one true faith from the errors taught in Christian sects and cults. Many went looking for a church experience that was similar to their experiences as youth, that is, worship centered on “entertainment and “good feelings”. That is why many of them are now members of Pentecostal or Community Churches. These sects offer immediate gratification, “feel good” messages and music, and fun fellowship activities. However, there are serious shortcomings in their Bible interpretation. In spite of Scripture, they do not believe the Lord is actually present in His Word and Sacraments to forgive and bless them in the Divine Service. They do not know of God’s gift of good order in the Divine service and continue to make up new liturgies of their own.
Another reason we lost many of the children of the boomer generation is that our catechesis (at home, in Sunday school, and in confirmation classes) failed to give them the ability to judge doctrine and distinguish the true Church from sects. To put it bluntly, the way we have carried on youth ministry over the past forty years has been in large measure, a failure.
B) Teaching Children how to Sing
Martin Luther recognized that singing is a superbly effective way to teach the Christian faith. Singing helps us to remember the words of whatever we have sung. Singing engages our senses. Sung hymns become imprinted on our memory more easier than spoken sentences. Just reflect why it is that you can still sing along with many songs you knew well in High School, even if you have not heard them in many years. Since children learn through repetition, the liturgy and hymns are a primary teaching resource. It is important to familiarize children with the melodies and words of our hymns and liturgies so that they can participate with the congregation as they learn to speak.
Our three Missouri Synod hymnals (The Lutheran Hymnal, 1941; Lutheran Worship 1982); or (Lutheran Service Book, 2006) provide rich resources to teach our children. Hymns are sung confessions of the faith which unites us. We use them not because they are “traditional” or someone’s favorite, but because they proclaim the truth of Law and Gospel without confusing the two. Therefore, new hymns enter into the Church’s worship life only after they have been critically examined for their theological content. Special committees of pastors have carefully evaluated the words of every hymn in our hymnal so that they are free from false teachings. The hymnals unite all ages and cultures in the unique song of the church so that we do not fracture the congregation by catering to personal tastes in music. The Divine Service with its liturgy and hymns is something larger than us, the Holy Christian Church throughout the ages.
What about the familiar children’s songs like “Zaccheus was a Wee Little Man”, “Jesus Loves Me This I know”, “This Little Gospel Light of Mine”, and others? There are some children’s songs that were written and popularized in the ’60’s or ‘70’s that now are viewed as “traditional” music for children. These may be used to help a child that does not sing at all begin to feel confident with using his or her voice. However, these songs are of little value in the long-term development of children’s faith. Most of them say little about the Gospel and are designed primarily for fun. It’s good to have fun, but raising a child on a diet of these songs alone is like raising a child on a diet of Twinkies. Using the best of these songs is not a bad idea, but be selective. Try to use songs that are Gospel centered. For example, “Jesus Loves Me This I Know” contains a clear statement of the Gospel, which is not true of many of the more recent children’s songs.
III 12 Steps for Teaching the Christian Faith to Children
1. Start today. Don’t put it off. Parents with infants should start now. It is much easier to form the habit of daily prayer with the very young! In my personal experience with our children, they began singing or saying some parts of the liturgy, prayers or hymns before the age of two.
2. Stick with your commitment. If you are committed to having a short family prayer/devotional time each evening then do it each and every evening. Circumstances will arise that force you to change the time or place you pray, but keep it up. The habit must first be formed (the hardest part), then it must be maintained. Everyone has a bedtime, even if the rest of the day is too busy.
3. Choose a set time (or times) each day to have daily devotions. Use the liturgy and hymnody of our Church, and readings from the Bible. For young children’s bible story-books see the Resources list which follows. Teach appropriate church behavior each day in your devotional time.
4. Keep it brief! Five to 10 minutes at a time is enough. With young children (non-readers) choose one stanza of a hymn or a short portion of liturgy to use each day until memorized. Then use it frequently enough for them to remember it. You will probably also want to discuss the meaning of certain words. This is also a great language/vocabulary builder! When children in the Divine Service hear parts they have been singing at home they light up and sing! Work on one or two hymns for the upcoming Sunday service so that non-reading children are able to participate in a hymn. Children get a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when they can sing along. If you would like the list of upcoming hymns and services I am happy to email you the plans.
5. Encourage children to participate with you in the Church services. From birth, teach them to sing, pray, sit, stand, or kneel at appropriate times during the service. Avoid bringing toys or snacks or keep these to a minimum. Teach them how to make the sign of the cross before prayer, as Luther instructs us to do in the Small Catechism. The sign of the cross recalls our baptismal identity as children of God, the very reason we have access to God in prayer. Teach them to reverently fold their hands during prayers. Use children’s bulletins to keep them occupied during the sermon. Don’t let them color the whole time. Keep them as engaged in doing the liturgy as possible according to their age.
6. Teach children about the church year. Lutherans follow the Church year calendar with its seasons, appointed readings, festivals and colorful altar paraments rich in symbolic meaning. Knowing about these will help them better understand what is happening in church. If you are uncertain about the Church year, the appendix of Luther’s Small Catechism in the latest edition (2008 English Standard Version) has a great wealth of information on this and Christian symbols.
7. Sit close to the front with children so they can see what is happening during the worship service. Nothing will bore a child more quickly than putting them into pews where all they can see is the backsides of adults in front of them. Discuss what the pastor is doing, what color the paraments are and why, explain what the symbols on the paraments mean, point out banners and other Christian art in the congregation.
8. Avoid taking your children to a “contemporary service”. Opt instead for the traditional service. Does it really matter? Very much! Because there is little repetition of worship forms from week to week in a “contemporary service”, children are not able to participate in the sung or spoken worship. Attending “contemporary services” will also make it difficult for your children to distinguish the Lutheran Church from Christian sects that worship that way all the time.
9. Make the liturgy, hymnody and Luther’s Small Catechism as much a part of your daily life as possible. Sing in the car and use the “Growing in Christ” CD’s given to the kids in Sunday school to take home. Sing and pray before meals, bedtime, anytime! There are two short hymns in Lutheran Service Book that make excellent meal prayers: #774 Feed Thy Children, God Most Holy; and #805 Praise God, from Whom All Blessings Flow.
10. Read Bible stories to your children frequently. Educational research shows that children benefit greatly when people read to them. Be sure to include Bible stories in your readings! (See the Resource list for good books.) Work with story-telling as well. Let the child try to tell a familiar Bible Story to the family. One caution: Avoid Bible story-books that use exaggerated, cartoon style artwork. Young children do not think abstractly. Showing them unrealistic, cartoonish pictures of Bible character or stories can give them the impression that the Bible stories are not about history. Cartoonish characters take what is holy and make it common/profane.
11. As Children grow, help them to memorize the Six Chief Parts of Luther’s Small Catechism. We memorize only by repetition. The gems of Christian faith and comfort, distilled so well in the Small Catechism, are superb for guiding our prayers. The Small Catechism is intended to be a life-long prayer book. Use it frequently in your prayers, perhaps at the dinner table, at devotion time, etc.
12. Keep the TV off during meals and keep the family together. Use meal times together to talk with your children. You may want to present short Bible stories to them over a meal. Then discuss the story over the meal. Don’t let busy work schedules or children’s activities rob your family of regular meal times together. A strong Christian family that prays together and serves each other out of Christian love is more important to your child’s development than any extra-curricular activity.
Summary: Remember that parents are called by God to instruct their children in the faith and to be models of Christian life. Parents that model good habits, such as weekly attendance at Church, participation in the service, daily prayer and Bible study do their children the greatest service of Christian love: We are teaching them to live by faith.
IV Resources – Concordia Publishing House (CPH) CPH.ORG or 1-800-325-3040
Resources Every Lutheran Household Should Enjoy
1. Hymnal: Lutheran Service Book, 2006, Concordia Publishing House (CPH).
2. Luther’s Small Catechism (use 2008 English Standard Edition) CPH
3. The Lutheran Study Bible, 2009, CPH
4. Treasury of Daily Prayer, 2008, CPH
5. The Lord Will Answer: A Daily Prayer Catechism, 2004 CPH.
Highly Recommended Devotional Books
To Live with Christ: Daily Devotions by Bo Giertz, 2008, CPH
Every Day with the Savior Daily Devotion, Rudolph Norden, 2004, CPH
Where in the World is God? Harold Senkbeil, 1999, Northwestern Publishing House
Books to use with Children
The Story Bible, 2010, CPH – Newest and comprehensive Resource, uses realistic artwork and has helpful extras like vocabulary words.
ARCH Books. CPH - These are individual Bible Story books. Be selective, some of the Arch books use cartoonish artwork.
One Hundred Bible Stories, (A workbook is also available), Concordia Publishing House, 1998. 1-800-325-3040.
My First Catechism: An Illustrated Version of Luther’s Small Catechism, 2004 CPH – Also Available: Activity Book (workbook)
Little Visits with God, Family Devotionals – Golden Anniversary Edition 2007, and several other editions from CPH
Gross, Arthur. A Child’s Garden of Bible Stories, Concordia Publishing House, 1948. (1-800-325-3040). A classic book you may remember from childhood.
Stiegemeyer, Julie. Things I See In Church, CPH, 1999. (Excellent board book- for Infant--3, supplement the pictures with your own explanations)
Worshipping with Angels and Archangels: An Introduction to the Divine Service, Scott Kinnaman, CPH 2006. (Colorful artwork and simple explanations for both children and adults.)
Musical Resources to Teach Hymnody
A Mighty Fortress: Lutheran Hymns of the Catechism, The Lutheran Catechetical Academy of Peace Lutheran Church, Rev. Peter Bender, P.O. Box 123, W240 N6145, Maple Avenue, Sussex , WI. 53089. (414) 246-3200
4 CDs from the Children’s Choir at St. Paul Lutheran Church and School in Fort Wayne IN: Can be purchased separately. The whole set is a better value and recommended. The great Teachers at St. Paul know how important it is to teach the hymns! The choir sounds professional. The CDs work great to familiarize children and adults with the hymns in our hymnal and some frequently used liturgical settings.
1. O Lord Open My Lips, The Children’s Choir of St. Paul Lutheran Church, Fort Wayne, IN., 1995. CPH.
2. And My Mouth Will Declare Your Praise, The Children’s Choir of St. Paul Lutheran Church, Fort Wayne, IN., 1998. CPH
3. With High Delight – The Children’s Choir of St. Paul Lutheran Church, Fort Wayne, IN CPH -
4. Sing With All the Saints – The Children’s Choir of St. Paul Lutheran Church, Fort Wayne, IN CPH –
Other Music Resources
On Christmas Night, King’s College Choir, Decca Record, 1989.
Christmas Carols from King’s College, EMI Records, 1990.
Holy, Holy, Holy, King’s College Choir, Decca Records, 1986.
Procession With Carols on Advent Sunday, King’s College Choir, EMI, 1987.
Praetorius Mass For Christmas Morning, Gabrieli Consort and Players, Musical Heritage Society. Wow! These early Lutherans knew how to do the liturgy!
Sing Ye Choirs Exultant, The James Chorale, 1990.
Through the Church Year, The Seminary Kantorei; Concordia Theological Seminary Bookstore, (219) 452-2100.
With Angels and Archangels, Concordia Theological Seminary Kantorei, Concordia Theological Seminary Bookstore, (219) 452-2100.
Additional Adult Materials
The Book of Concord, (The official book of what Lutherans believe and teach, written between 1530 and 1580. Contains both the Small and Large Catechisms and other official doctrinal writings). A Readers Edition is available from CPH
Grace Upon Grace: Spirituality for Today, John Kleinig. CPH, 2008. This book is a great one for learning how to pray.
The Spirituality of the Cross: The Way of the First Evangelicals, Gene Edward Vieth jr., CPH 1999. (A great book that helps the reader discover our great heritage as Lutherans. Every Lutheran should read it!)
Miscellaneous
Williams, Judy. Nurturing by God’s Design, CD - LWML 1-800-252-LWML. (Makes a great Baby Gift!)
Pastor Joseph Murphy
Grace Lutheran Church, Parker Colorado |
